Crafted In The Shadow Of Loss

It’s been a little quieter over here since Norah’s birthday. Within our family, most of our key occasions fall in the period of June-July, and whilst the date of this post is insignificant, it feels like a good time to start to get back into the normal rhythms of life. Our time since Norah’s birthday…

Norah’s Wild Rumpus; Scafell Pike

Norah’s book has always been ‘Where the Wild Things Are’, by Maurice Sendak, we read it to her throughout my pregnancy, nicknamed her our Wild Thing, and painted scenes from the book to hang in her room. When Norah died, Where the Wild Things Are took on a new meaning; we felt as though a…

Breaking out of the waiting place; Norah’s Inquest

Last week, back in the town where Norah died and held amongst the consultants, pathologists and other professionals involved in Norah’s care, Norah’s inquest was finally concluded. We have suspected all along that we wouldn’t find a cause for Norah’s death, so to an extent we were prepared for the outcome. In anticipation of the…

The tempering of grief.

In the very early days of our grief we could do little more than exist. Crushed beneath the weight of our daughter’s death, even breathing felt impossible. In the two weeks that Norah was alive we existed on very little anything; sleeping, eating and living along with the chaos of new life and the brutality…

Grieving with autism.

This week, the 26th March to the 2nd April, is Autism Awareness Week. Norah’s Dad is taking over this week to open the door on his world, and to share some of his experiences, with a little help as ever from me. I have always known I was slightly different to my peers, but I…

Drowning in our differences.

My husband and I have been married for almost three years now and together for almost seven. We have easily spent 95% of our time in the last eight years together; we were best friends before we were partners and we have built our world around each other. Our marriage has endured job losses, health…

I’ll be seeing you.

The day that Norah died was filled with life. It’s hard to reconcile the notion that Norah’s last day with us was anything other than despair, but it really was filled with life and love. As a family we have always found ways to infuse life with soul and intimacy absent of religious liturgy. We…

Navigating the wilderness, and finding our voice.

If I was brave enough to look through my browsing history from the weeks and months that followed on after Norah’s death, amongst my darkest thoughts, I would be sure to find the reasons that I find myself here, scribbling away and finding our voice. “Why did my baby stop breathing?” “Sudden death of one…