Happy First Birthday Norah

To mark Norahs birthday, we wanted to share the words we opened Norah’s birthday picnic with today, on Norah’s first birthday. We wanted to thank you so much for joining us today to wish Norah a very happy birthday. This time a year ago, I was lying in theatre with Dr Rob at my side,…

Norah’s Wild Rumpus; Scafell Pike

Norah’s book has always been ‘Where the Wild Things Are’, by Maurice Sendak, we read it to her throughout my pregnancy, nicknamed her our Wild Thing, and painted scenes from the book to hang in her room. When Norah died, Where the Wild Things Are took on a new meaning; we felt as though a…

Restorative Insignificance

Now that the days are lighter and brighter we are beginning to spend a little more time in our garden. We have never had a garden of our own, before we moved in to our current home we lived in an old chapel which meant our garden was a public grave yard. Although we miss…

Breaking out of the waiting place; Norah’s Inquest

Last week, back in the town where Norah died and held amongst the consultants, pathologists and other professionals involved in Norah’s care, Norah’s inquest was finally concluded. We have suspected all along that we wouldn’t find a cause for Norah’s death, so to an extent we were prepared for the outcome. In anticipation of the…

The tempering of grief.

In the very early days of our grief we could do little more than exist. Crushed beneath the weight of our daughter’s death, even breathing felt impossible. In the two weeks that Norah was alive we existed on very little anything; sleeping, eating and living along with the chaos of new life and the brutality…

Grieving with autism.

This week, the 26th March to the 2nd April, is Autism Awareness Week. Norah’s Dad is taking over this week to open the door on his world, and to share some of his experiences, with a little help as ever from me. I have always known I was slightly different to my peers, but I…

Drowning in our differences.

My husband and I have been married for almost three years now and together for almost seven. We have easily spent 95% of our time in the last eight years together; we were best friends before we were partners and we have built our world around each other. Our marriage has endured job losses, health…

You completed us; Norah’s birth.

It seems a little bit backwards that I shared the story of Norah’s death before the story of her birth. We talk more about Norah’s death because we are actively grieving, which means many people ask how we are in the wake of Norah’s death, leaving us fewer opportunities to talk about her birth. Whilst…

I’ll be seeing you.

The day that Norah died was filled with life. It’s hard to reconcile the notion that Norah’s last day with us was anything other than despair, but it really was filled with life and love. As a family we have always found ways to infuse life with soul and intimacy absent of religious liturgy. We…

Another step in to the unknown.

The person that I was before was pretty sure of herself, so sure in fact that she spent a lot of her previous life worrying about who she would be when she made the huge life-changing decision to become a parent. Every conversation about the potential future included the concern that being a parent might…